Writing Rammy, Family Rammy winners

Facebook Friends by Audrey Gold

Gail wasn't happy with her life.

As she dunked a biscuit in her tea, the soggy part dropped off, sinking to a messy end. She really wasn't happy. It wasn't just the biscuit, although she did hate when that happened.

No, she was scrolling down her Facebook page and realised her friends didn't 'like' her photos, they never did, and everyone else seemed to be doing so much more than her. And they had boyfriends, husbands, children all doing interesting things…even their dogs and cats led more interesting lives than she did.

Gail resolved to do something about it. She needed to see a better life reflected on Facebook. That was going to start now, she determined, as she shoved the last bit of biscuit in her mouth and drained her cup of tea, nearly choking on the soggy bit at the bottom. Typical for her, she thought; death by soggy tea biscuit. As she washed her cup out, her brain working overtime, she thought digital dating might be the answer.

She set her qualms to the side about this new direction in her life and within a couple of weeks her friends – all 50 of them (though that number did include a group of people she met during a thankfully now-closed Zumba class and someone she met on holiday years ago with whom she had bonded over a predisposition to mosquito bites) – were congratulating her on her new man.

"He's gorgeous Gail."
"Where did you find him?"
"Can I get one too?!"

He really was gorgeous. Gail had chosen well, she congratulated herself. Just her type. And the ‘likes' were mounting up.

Within the month, Gail was posting photos taken at various places –photos of champagne glasses clinking; toes, male and female, in the sand on a Scottish beach. And some of Greg himself; at the end of a marathon, about to set off on the Etape Caledonia all kitted out in his bike gear. He was really sporty and he looked so good in Lycra!

"Getting serious Gail!"
"Does this Greg have a brother?"
"We'll have to meet him Gail, stop keeping him to yourself!"

Gail was so much happier. Finally, her online life reflected what it should have been all along. It was like looking in a beautiful, shiny mirror. She thought it was time to get a cat.

"You and Greg getting a cat now?"
"Cute cat, Gail."
"Aww, lovely, babe."

Her friends – 142 and counting – liked the cat photos. Liked the fact she and Greg had got the cat together. Liked her life. Gail couldn't be happier. Everything was falling into place. Her perfect life.

Then a message appeared.

"Why are you saying my son is your boyfriend? He's got a perfectly lovely girlfriend who's very upset at seeing her boyfriend on your Facebook page."

The mirror cracked.

"Who's that mad woman, hun?"
"What does she mean Gail, Greg's your boyfriend right? Get her told!"
"Gail, what have you done?"

The mirror shattered.


Headline News by Tamsin Gold, age 11

Sandy was plodding back from the newsagents, reading The Daily Post's headline story about a murderer on the loose when out of nowhere there came the most almighty scream.

He dashed to see who had uttered the blood-curdling scream. He turned the corner only to find his neighbour Mrs Cannie lying there immobilised on the ground with blood slowly oozing out of her body. There was only one conclusion … Mrs Cannie was dead. Sandy couldn’t believe it. He was scared, really scared. He stopped dead - and that included his breathing for a while.

He felt a cool breath on his neck coming from behind him.

Sandy cautiously turned around to face a tall, thin figure. He was holding a sharp knife in one hand and a freshly loaded gun in the other. Sandy was scared, very scared.

He tried his hardest to stay brave but it was no use - he let out an almighty scream. Then Sandy was the same as Mrs Cannie - struck dead on the floor. The police were there in a flash and everyone who had been drawn to the scene were ushered quickly backwards but the murderer had left the scene just as quickly as the first time if not quicker.

The murderer had fled from the scene, never found and never would be.

The next day Sheila was reading the headline: "Two dead, one fled" – when she felt a cool breath on her neck…


Robots rule! by Daniel Gold, age 9

The Government gave every house a robot. They were great. They helped around the house and best of all they helped with children's homework!

Then one day every house in the country received a new Government-approved robot – they said these robots would be more efficient.

The robot bossed Mum and Dad around, telling them to use less electricity and stop using the car. Harris loved football but the robot said football was a waste of time and he should do his homework. Mum said, "I suppose the robot is helping us." Harris didn't think so - the robot was taking over!

One day Harris sneaked off from his homework to play with Lego. He built a car with wings and was very pleased with it. Suddenly the robot whirred into the room.

Its mechanical voice said, "You must follow the rules. That vehicle with wings is not in the rules. You must play by the rules." The robot went on and on about the rules.

Harris couldn't listen any more.

He picked up the robot and smashed it to the ground!!!!! There! No more rules!

The broken robot said in a wonky voice, "You have defeated me but you will not defeat us all. That is the rule." There was a knock at the door. Harris opened it and in rolled a shiny new robot.

"Good afternoon Harris, let's play with the Lego - by the rules this time."

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Last updated: 03 October 2017 at 10:02